For the Love of Peace

Growing My Roots

Recently I ended an intimate relationship with someone who, thankfully, remains my friend.  Our relationship was truly unique; at the start we avoided defining it or putting it in a box in order to allow it to become whatever it wanted to become.  This was beautiful in many ways; I learned to stay in the present moment and appreciate our connection for what it truly was rather than what I projected it to be.  And as I really wasn't even sure where I was going as an individual, the circumstances suited me just fine.

A year and a half went by, and we shared plenty of wonderful experience and made some great memories...but eventually the relationship changed.  This is something all relationships do, and since ours started out so pliable, it was only natural for it to solidify.  We were engaged and were planning our commitment ceremony when I began to feel lost.  There was a glaring problem: the relationship had changed, but I hadn't.  I still was unsure about what I wanted, who I was, and where I was going.  I found myself in a commitment with a man who I truly cared about, but I was unsure it was the life I wanted.  So after much contemplation, I ended it out of consideration for us both.  I couldn't move forward with something I wasn't feeling with my whole heart, and I couldn't ask someone to stay with me when I wasn't even sure I wanted them to.

The past couple of months have been intensely educational.  It's tough work stripping your life bare and starting again, which is essentially what I did.  Sure, materialistically nothing had changed--I still had the same home and same job--but spiritually and psychologically I went through a rigorous reprogramming...and still am.  I've spent the past several weeks just soul searching, asking myself serious questions such as, "Why am I repeating the same mistakes?" and "What is it I'm looking for, really?" to try and pinpoint what was going on and how I was to move forward.  What I found knocked me over a little bit; I wasn't grounded in who I am.  My first long term relationship was three and a half years long and I spent most--if not all--of it depressed.  I had low self worth, I was addicted to drama, and I was constantly defining who I was by what others thought of me.  At the end of that relationship, I took about a year on my own to find my Self...and I did, and she was beautiful, and I fell in love with her instantly.  But at the end of that year, just as soon as I started to really be comfortable in my own skin and was truly being honest with myself and my feelings, I bolted right back into the dating world.  A few dates here, a few embarrassing moments there, and before I knew it I was in another relationship before I had even taken time to figure out what it was I wanted.  So while we had a great connection and made some wonderful memories together, a year and half passed by and I was nowhere nearer any goals...in fact, I couldn't even remember the few goals I had managed to set.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married and have kids, I wasn't sure what career path I wanted to follow, and I surely had no clue who I wanted to spend my life with.

It occurred to me that in that year or so between relationships, I may have found myself, but I never owned myself; I never planted myself.  You see, I like to think of myself as a tree.  In that one year, I watered myself and nurtured myself and began to grow...but I began to force myself to grow upward, to reach for things before I had built a healthy root structure beneath me. Trees must have a strong root structure---the roots go down as far into the earth as the branches reach into the sky--in order to stand on their own.  Naturally, as I was far from grounded, I eventually toppled over in my attempt to grow upward.

My number one problem in the relationships I've experienced thus far is that I lost myself in them.  I became needy and codependent, completely fixated on my partner...and not in a good way.  Because I hadn't learned to stand on my own, I leaned on them, and when they couldn't support that weight, I fell.  Nobody should have to be that for me; it's time I learn to stand on my own.

So I've made a promise to myself: for as long as it takes, I will remain single and spend that time grounding myself firmly in who I am.  I will focus on my passions, my dreams, my goals, and I will explore not only what I would like to see in a potential partner, but who I would be in that partnership.  It may only take a few months, it may take several, it may take one year, it may take five...who knows.  Only I can know.  The best indication is how I feel.  But I imagine it will happen organically.  I imagine I'll be feeling strong, loving my single life, when all of a sudden the right man and I will connect.  But never again will I enter into a relationship when I don't feel good about myself or am unsure about what I want in life.  I can't be a good partner to anyone if I haven't given myself the basic essentials.

I'm young.  I need to let myself BE young.  I've always been in such a rush to grow up.  Sure, I'm told repeatedly how mature I am for my age, that I'm an old soul, that I have a great head on my shoulders, and that I'm wise beyond my years...but I'm still a twenty-something who is trying to find her feet.  I may have inner wisdom, but I don't have that much experience to back it up.  I may have learned to unconditionally love a person, but I haven't learned how to set boundaries and I therefore end up playing a doormat far too often.  And I may have vision, but I have no clue how to make that vision manifest.  But it's all good...I have all the time in the world, and I embrace that.  It's okay for me to stay at a more moderate height for a while until my roots grow a little stronger...then I can aspire to the height of a Redwood.  What's more is I may never quite figure out what I want in life.  After all, I'm only human.  I don't expect to find all the answers, but merely to grow a more solid foundation in order to explore those questions and pursue those answers with integrity and strength.  

I am a sapling.  I welcome any storms; storms will strengthen my root structure.  I welcome any insights and ideas that want to build nests in my branches so they can nurture their offspring.  I welcome the sunshine and the rain to nourish me.  In time, I'll find myself strongly rooted with a wealth of ideas skittering about in my branches.  But for now, I grow...and I give myself the time and space I need in order to do so.

♡

Reflections

As I've been reflecting back on 2010, I'm realizing that it was quite tumultuous for me.  When the year started, I felt lost.  There was an itch I couldn't scratch, something that I couldn't quite get to.  I didn't know what it was and, looking back, I realize that I never really tried to figure it out.  I spent the entire year battling to keep this invisible thing from emerging, denying that anything was wrong.  But now I realize that, all along, it was making itself known...as anger.  I spent most of this past year very angry.  Sure, things happened that--I thought--justified my anger, and occasionally I would take the opportunity to express that anger: the oil spill in the gulf was definitely the climax.  But as the year wore on, I couldn't help the feeling that there was something else underlying, something that was the real reason I was angry.  The closer and closer January got, the angrier I got, and the more I found myself thinking and saying, "I'm so tired of being angry...I wish I knew why I was so angry."  But I still never looked at myself to find the answer.

By November, I found myself getting very defensive.  I felt very judged by a few people and was itching for my opportunity to stand up for myself and speak my truth.  I wanted to tell them that, despite what they thought, I had my life together and I knew what I was doing.  My opportunity never came, and I found myself--you guessed it--feeling angry.  I was angry at them for talking about me behind my back.  I was angry at God for not presenting me with my opportunity to speak my truth to them.  I was so busy being angry that I didn't even see what Life was continually putting right in front of my face.  It never occurred to me that Life was holding up Its mirror to me and saying, "Kayleigh...look at you.  Look at what you're doing."

I was so busy being angry that I hadn't talked to God all year.  I was so busy being angry that I had only logged one entry in my gratitude journal all year.  I was so busy being angry because I didn't want to look at myself.  If I could only keep finding reasons to be angry, if I could keep blaming others for my unhappiness, then I wouldn't have to admit that I was going about things all wrong.  I was so busy waiting for the opportunity to tell someone that I knew what I was doing that I didn't stop to ask myself, "Do you?" 

One night, I was at a dear friend's house when she took a sledgehammer to my ego.  I realized in a jolt that I was severely disconnected.  I finally admitted to myself that I had no idea what I was doing.  I was afraid of commitment because I hadn't even committed to myself.  I was afraid of loving another person because I had given no love to myself in God-knows-how-long; I was drained and felt incapable of loving another person.  And I was afraid of moving toward any specific goal because I had no clue what I was doing here or where I was at.  So I made some major changes, and while it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, it gave me room to breathe.

But I was still angry, and I still didn't know why.  So I made a list of people I was angry at with the intention of forgiving them all.  I figured that was the best place to start.  Thankfully, it was a short list, but I still wasn't sure I'd be able to forgive them all, or how soon it would happen.  But I opened myself up to really look at what was going on.  Finally, as I was lying in bed on the verge of sleep, it suddenly hit me: all these people had held up mirrors to me.  Each one of these people were reflections of what I was doing, and who I was being .  None of my anger was about them; the only person I was truly angry at was myself.  I was sending anger at these people because they were showing me exactly what I was doing.  Like a neglected child, I was acting out, sending anger to everything and everyone else because I wouldn't give me attention.  Realizing this, I was overwhelmed with compassion and love for the people I had intended to forgive...and the anger disappeared.  All that remained was gratitude.  I was grateful to them for being my mirrors, grateful to them for waking me up to myself.  They gave me gifts that are too precious to put into words.  They helped me to grow, and they showed me myself.  I bless them, and wish them love and healing of their pain.  And now that I'm actually looking at my reflection, it's time to move on and heal myself.

I have to smile to myself when I reflect on this past year now.  I'm grateful to end up back with myself, and that it only took a year...a year that, despite its hardships, was full of wonderful memories and not without a couple of miracles.  I still have a lot of discovering to do, and that's what 2011 is about for me.  I may still be a bit of a mess, but I'm okay with it.  Life is a mess, a beautiful mess, and I'm grateful to be here playing in it.  I don't need to know exactly where I'm going, I don't need to have my life "together"...I don't need to decide anything right now.  My only agenda right now is to enjoy life, and to fall in love with myself all over again.  That is, after all, why we're here: to live and to love.

Breaking the Chrysalis

Do you remember when you were sick of wiggling around as a caterpillar?  It wasn't very fun and you wanted to be something more, so you wiggled your way to a branch and began your transformation by encasing yourself in a chrysalis.  That chrysalis you're encased in represents that safe, shiny, blissful stage on the spiritual journey, where everything is beautiful and we do everything we can to feel good and shield ourselves from the horrors of the world.  But so many of us are also wondering why nothing is really happening for us yet.  "Why aren't my projects succeeding?  Why am I still where I was?"  Well, you're still dangling from that branch!  You're going through a Divine transformation, you feel amazing, you feel like you're just on the verge, and you are...and you'll stay there as long as you keep protecting yourself from the world.  Right now you're relying on the Universe to shower you with whatever blessings may fall upon you, and you're trusting the Universe to protect you, but you're not taking physical action toward creating in the world.   How can you create in the world when you're still protecting yourself from it?  It's time we all break free from our chrysalises and unfurl our beautiful new wings.  In our chrysalises we've learned new lessons, equipped ourselves with new tools, and now it is time to set forth on a new journey.  It's time to take some risks.  It's time to explore.  And it's time to create.

While you and I might not actually be insects, we truly are on the edge of a magnificent breakthrough.  There is something trying to come through us and manifest in our world.  Undoubtedly, it is something beautiful, startling, and nothing short of miraculous.  The catch is that it is trying...and we have to let it.  You see, this world isn't going to miraculously transform one day solely because enough of us visualized it.  I understand, support, and embrace the view that one must focus on the positive, that thoughts are creative, and what we feel and think ultimately creates our world.  However, there is so much more to it than that.  I'm sure many of you are familiar with The Secret and the Law of Attraction.  While a wonderful tool, it is a stepping stone in the direction of something much more powerful.  It worries me that many people take these teachings and run toward the "ignorance is bliss" mindset.  "Let's not look at that situation because it doesn't feel good, let's only acknowledge the things that make us happy so that we do feel good."  That may succeed in helping you lead a blissful life, but it doesn't work to create a better world.  Protecting yourself from the world keeps you wrapped in your chrysalis, long overdue for rebirth as a butterfly.

Giving attention to a subject that is negative is not the same as giving a subject negative attention.  You can and must give energy to the negative subject in order for change to occur.  Refraining from feeding energy to a negative situation will not create change.  The subject must be engaged--not ignored--in order for change to occur.  Action is stronger than mere visions and thoughts...and action that is inspired by visions of peace and loving thoughts is even more powerful!  As long as an abundance of people are taking action toward the demise of humanity and our planet, all the time spent putting a butt print in your meditation cushion won't do much good.  YOU are called to action, and your love-infused, Divinely inspired action is powerful beyond measure compared to the mindless action of those who draw inspiration from greed and hate.

If you had black mold growing in your shower, you would acknowledge it.  For a moment it might upset you, but you quickly allow that discomfort to inspire you into action.  You wouldn't turn your back to it, close the door, and continue on your merry way.  That doesn't work because you are not the only force at work in this Universe.  You alone aren't creating this reality.  The mold continues to grow because that is it's purpose, and your will cannot govern the action of another living being on this planet.  Mold has free will, too!  And on this planet we're dealing with billions of creative beings that are far more powerful than mold...we're dealing with other human beings.  Other human beings who create with the Universal Laws, other human beings with different purposes and interests than us, other human beings who use the powers of thought, word, and action to shape our world.  Action is our most powerful tool, and a small percentage of people who merely send a positive thought here and there aren't going to make that big of a dent in a world that is being bombarded by destructive action.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for enough good people to do nothing. ~ Edmund Burke

The crises we are experiencing on our planet are all calls to action for those of us who are ready and willing to create with love.  Why choose to remain blissfully ignorant of what is taking place in our world when you could do so much for our collective healing?  What if you looked at every crisis as an opportunity to create something better?  It's similar to how I treat a siren when I hear it.  Whether it's an ambulance, fire engine, or police car, I always take a moment to pray for the officials and those they are responding to.  They may be victims, they may be criminals.  Either way, I pray for their wellness.  I envision peace, wholeness, safety and security, and love for everyone involved.  The crises on our planet are similar, only we can do far more than envision peace and love.  As I don't see law enforcement rushing off to save the day in this situation, it's time we all stand up and take action.

I sincerely don't mean to rain on your chrysalis, but your chrysalis might not be that blissful for long.  Our lives are full of blessings, this planet is spectacularly beautiful and full of wonders, the Universe holds far too many mysteries to be discovered in one lifetime...AND we face very real problems.  Overpopulation, climate change, deforestation, water shortage and contamination, species loss, world hunger and poverty...all of these and many more will continue to grow as long as the action is taken to produce them and no action is taken to remedy them.  I am not saying positive thought is weak.  PLEASE keep praying, keep visualizing, keep meditating, keep sending positive thoughts out into the ether.  What I AM saying is to take it further than thoughts.  Mother Teresa, Mohandas K. Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King and countless other Sacred Activists did more than think positive.  They took Divinely inspired action and beautifully illustrated for us just how powerful that can be.  I think we can all agree they achieved monumental success in their causes!  Imagine if ALL of us took that inspired action for a cause (or two, or three...or more)!  Imagine.  Caterpillars can get quite a lot done if we're all dangling from branches in chrysalises, but when we set ourselves free and soar as butterflies...just imagine!

LOVE!

Kayleigh

Sweet Emotions

Love them or hate them, our emotions are valuable tools for anyone on a spiritual journey.  I know that may be a difficult concept to accept.  Prominent spiritual teachers are constantly telling us, in the name of the Law of Attraction, to feel good for fear of manifesting something to match our negative emotions.  Now, the Law of Attraction is valid, whether you like it or not.  However, there are other laws at work in the Universe and the LOA isn't as black and white as many of us would like to think it is.  I've been up and down on my little emotional roller coaster over here and--as the ride is coming to a halt--I've finally found stability and clarity.  It wasn't easy, and what it took may actually surprise you.  It wasn't some bright and shiny positive outlook, nor some deeply inspiring message.  I simply had to accept my emotions for what they were and stop denying them attention just because they didn't feel good.  Once I gave them space, I moved through them and found empowered strength.

You see, there is no such thing as a "bad" emotion or a "good" emotion.  Emotions truly are tools and it's beneficial to think of them as such.  Louise L. Hay teaches us that pain and disease in our bodies are signals to us that something isn't in alignment with our highest good and must be changed.  It is the same for our emotional body: discomfort presents itself when something isn't quite right.  What we call "bad" emotions are signals that something in our life deserves our attention.  Therefore, the emotion itself isn't necessarily bad; it can even be perceived as good since it empowers us when used as a tool.  Another way of looking at it is comparing it to the symptoms of an illness.  If you get the flu, you'll find yourself with a fever.  The fever is uncomfortable, but it serves the important purpose of killing off the virus that has infected your body.  By raising your temperature, the fever causes your body to be uninhabitable for the virus.  After your body successfully fights off the virus, your immune system is stronger for the experience and is more capable of defending itself from future infection.  The rest of our body works exactly the same way, and this includes our emotional body.  Negative emotions serve a purpose in alerting us to make a change as well as pushing us forward in our spiritual growth.  This is why ignoring the emotion isn't effective and holds us back.  We have to open ourselves up, listen to the message it carries, and move through it.

To understand the universe is to understand our own heart...Emotions are portals to enlightenment and higher consciousness. ~ Venerable Dhyani Ywahoo

Movement is the key.  There is no reason to dwell in emotions that are uncomfortable for us.  The entire point of uncomfortable emotions is to get us to move, to transport us to a higher plane.  To give you another example of how this relates to the function of our physical bodies, consider how you react when you accidentally set your hand on a hot stove burner.  The heat burns your skin, your nerves create a sensation of pain sending a message to your brain that you are damaging your body, and your reflexes cause your muscles to contract and quickly remove your hand from danger.  You do not feel the pain and dwell in it...that would be quite ridiculous (if you can imagine).  Instead, you take action to improve the situation.  It's exactly the same for our emotions.  Only spend as much time in the uncomfortable emotional state as you need; recognize the discomfort, acknowledge what isn't working, and allow that to motivate you to move in a new direction.  It won't always be easy; it's not as simple as jumping from depression to bliss.  As Abraham-Hicks teaches, start where you're at.  Acknowledge how you feel now.  You may even need to work your way up through the emotions.

However, just as with a burn, sometimes emotions point to a need for healing.  This is when uncomfortable emotions become even more powerful as tools.  Grief, for instance, is a process that deserves respect.  It takes time and space to work through the emotions and come out on the other side.  Grieving is complex and often prolonged.  The same goes for what the mystics call the Dark Night of the Soul, a powerful time in the spiritual journey that is often wrought with despair, emptiness, doubt, inner struggle, and a sense of being lost.  It acts as a gateway to higher consciousness, resulting in the transcendence of previous patterns and beliefs.  The Darkness has been described as a light that is so bright that you are blinded; you are lost, it seems dark, but once you work through it your eyes adjust and can recognize a brightness you had not yet perceived.  Both of these processes are not to be rushed and, while painful, are enormously healing and spiritually significant states of being.  The best you can do is maintain awareness and stay connected to truth and love until the pain makes way for a greater peace.  You will, without a doubt, come out on the other side better for the experience.

I definitely struggled with a Dark Night of my own quite recently.  I have, quite honestly, been experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul for several months.  But it all came to a head with the news of the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico.  This has been absolutely devastating for me, as it has been for many.  I haven't been on this planet long, but looking back I honestly don't think I've faced anything as challenging as this.  Everything in my life that has been painful really only involved me and maybe a few others, so I managed to work through it by claiming my responsibility for what went wrong as well as the healing that had to occur.  This situation, on the other hand, involved me and every other person who gives money to the oil industry, not to mention the very company I purchased my oil from, a company I thought of as the lesser evil.  It also involved the environment...a large part of the environment, and possibly even the species I have adored and supported since I was a small child.  While I knew somewhere deep within that there was hope, the anger and fear that bubbled up within me began to drown me in a deep despair.  I made a vital mistake by dwelling in the anger, by feeding my fears, and by holding on to my grief.  Instead of feeling my emotions and allowing them to move me forward into action, I was stuck in my emotions while desperately kicking and screaming in an attempt to take that action.  I denied myself the gifts grief and emotional processing had to offer, and it began to take its toll.  For weeks, I tried my best to hold it together.  For weeks, I tried to stay positive and motivated.  But I couldn't stay still for one moment, I couldn't keep quiet for one moment, and I couldn't stop my mind from racing.  I found myself picking fights, going into rants and rages, and I was constantly sick as my body was sending me signals (all of which Louise L. Hay's list indicated were due to fear, rejecting an experience, and rejecting myself).  Finally one night I couldn't sleep due to anxiety and a persistent headache, so I got out of bed, nestled into a comfortable position on my chaise, and tried to read Michael Beckwith's Affirmations and Embodiments in his book Spiritual Liberation.  These words have always been extremely empowering and life-affirming for me, so it was heartbreaking for me to find them feeling numb in my heart.  I had to admit to myself that I was experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul.  Almost as soon as I made this admission, I burst into tears.  I wept until I could weep no longer.  I let all the despair, guilt, and anger leave my emotional and physical bodies until there was nothing left.  When I was done I felt a calm wash over me.  I felt empty, and my headache was gone.  I was an open vessel and I knew it was now time to refill with comfort, joy, and love; it was time to nurture myself and listen to what was trying to come through me.  The following days were certainly a process of healing, but after devoting my attention to caring for myself and opening up, I found myself empowered.  The insights I had during my emotional release and healing sessions were invaluable, and I have now been propelled forward.

The most important lesson I learned was the value of anger.  For starters, every powerful spiritual activist I can think of got angry at some point.  Both Jesus and Gandhi, for instance, got angry.  What they did that many don't do is move through it.  They got angry and only stayed in their anger long enough to receive the signal that something called for change.  Then they transmuted the energy of that fiery anger into fiery passion.  What's more is they used that fiery passion to propel them forward into action.  I was able to do the same with my anger about the Gulf.  I took my anger and transmuted it into passion.  I have a motivation I would not have had I not been fully informed.  Not only that, having experienced the negative emotions and going through the process, I am now able to visualize healing, restoration, and beauty for the Gulf.   I wasn't able to do that before, and it wasn't because I had images of oiled birds and dolphin carcasses in my head.  It's far more profound.  You see, after going through the transformation and healing in my own Self, I am now able to facilitate it for the Gulf and all the living beings affected by the tragedy.  In allowing myself to go through the process of transformation, I am ultimately contributing to the transformation that is due for the Gulf.  This is because our thoughts are tied to the outcome of the situation; we have all been affected, we have all been heartbroken.  Healing our heartbreak is part of the healing process for the Gulf, and acknowledging that heartbreak is the first step toward healing.  I know many people are avoiding watching or reading news of the Gulf, but forgive me in saying that you may be in denial of your true feelings.  How many of you are avoiding that news for fear of that heartache?  And isn't that fear an indication that your heart is already broken?  Acknowledging the severity of the situation, allowing the pain to move through me and transmuting that pain into compassion and hope was a powerful experience and I am so grateful for it.  What's more is it gave me an invaluable gift.  Because I felt it in my own body, I now know from experience what can happen for the Gulf: a miracle.  A transformation. 

This is the powerful gift your "negative" emotions can bless you with: a tangible experience of what is possible for this world.  For how are we to transform this world if not through ourselves first?  Denying that which makes us uncomfortable doesn't transform it; it just puts it on the back burner for us to deal with further down the road, thus delaying transformation and transcendence.  There are only so many burners on our stoves.  Sooner or later we'll have no room to put our boiling pots to simmer, and they will demand our attention.  We must face our pain and grief with the knowledge that they are an important part of our spiritual journey.  I assure you: in facing your uncomfortable emotions with courage and receptivity, you are in for one of the most profound experiences of our life.  

Light & Love,

Kayleigh

A Nature of Harmony

I am constantly amazed by nature.  To me, it is the epitome of beauty, harmony, and balance.  Nothing grounds me or brings me peace like being engulfed in nature.  A simple stroll in the park can slow my mind chatter, reacquaint me with my heart and soul, open my eyes to all the gifts that surround me, and rejuvenate my body.  It is no wonder that nature conservancy is one of my greatest passions.  I do not want to live in a world without nature.  Thankfully, that will never be the case; it is impossible and illogical for us to continue living without nature.  Without nature, we would no longer exist. 

For the greater part of human history, we have set ourselves apart from nature.  We have established ourselves as more intelligent than the other species and we have made our agenda more important than the wellness of the planet.  We've held these beliefs as "common knowledge" and most of us have gone through life without questioning them or giving them a second thought.  To far too many people, nature remains simply scenery.  It's expendable, unimportant, and is only vital to us in that we can earn a profit from the land we build on, the oil we extract from the earth, and the living beings we exploit for entertainment purposes, torture in the name of science, and kill for food.  I'm here to tell you that this is a dangerous misconception.  Nature is a web, and we cannot separate ourselves from that web, no matter how hard we try.  In killing our planet, we are killing ourselves.  This has become apparent as we've watched the effects of climate change and our persistent rape of the planet.  Approximately one hundred and twenty species go extinct every single day, the poles are melting at a rapid rate, the rain  forests are disappearing, our waters are polluted, and now the oil spill in the Gulf has devastated our oceans in a way we can't fully comprehend as of yet.  There is no more time to waste.  We must transform our thinking and our actions.  All of this is effecting us now and will effect us even further if we allow it to continue.  We don't need to let the message of Avatar gather dust along with the DVD on our shelf.  We don't need to turn our backs on the crises of the world as easily as we turn off the TV.  Be strong, be brave, be bold.  It's time to make a change.

The good news is that nature has the remarkable ability to regenerate.  It heals with ease and grace.  I believe that, even if we as a species obliterate ourselves, life will remain on this planet.  Nature will endure because it is strong.  It is strong because it is in harmony with the cosmos.  It grows, cycles, and evolves in a beautiful dance.  We are designed to be a part of that dance, but we have stopped dancing.  We have left the dance floor to try to find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere.  Little did we know that it is impossible for us to separate ourselves from that dance and survive.  Even our bodies are still trying to participate.  Like nature, our bodies have the ability to regenerate.  They track the movement of the planets, the sun, and the phases of the moon.  Our bodies work in harmony with, not only nature, but all of the cosmos.  And if our bodies can do this, than there is no reason why WE can't.  If a liver inside of a human body can regenerate, than we as a collective can.  If our bodies can function in harmony with nature, than we as a collective can.  We are not separate from nature, no matter how hard we try to be.  We are and always will be a part of it.  The sooner we acknowledge that, the sooner we can find harmony with the Earth and all whom we share it with.

Earth is a beautiful specimen beyond verbal description...a perfect example of harmony in  action.  When nature is in balance, our planet moves through its cycles effortlessly.  The prey are never wiped out by predators, the species travel and mold their lives around the changes in water, seasons, and food supply, and all is a marvelous spectacle of Divine design.  We have upset this balance, disrupted the harmony, and our planet is now in crisis.  We have put our insane agenda ahead of the health of our home, and we can no longer afford to stay ignorant to what we are creating.  Yes...creating.  We are creating this.  We are making a choice.  And we can choose to make a different one.  It is heartbreaking to see the peace of our planet disturbed by our insanity, but this can act as a wake-up call to those of us who have yet to grasp the effect we are having on our planet, and so on ourselves.

Do your part.  Reduce, reuse, recycle.  Conserve.  Seek knowledge and share knowledge.  Eat organic.  Incorporate more living plant foods into your diet and lessen your intake of animals and animal byproducts.  Find a cause you are passionate about and become active.  Sign petitions, write letters, and speak up...always with kindness and patience.  Boycott companies that are damaging and embrace those that create wellness.  Donate to a charity monthly, no matter how small the sum.  Get your hands dirty and volunteer locally.  Be conscious, be connected, and be committed.  But don't forget yourself or you'll burn out...be good to yourself.  Heal your body, clear your mind, and connect with Spirit to maintain motivation and courage of heart.  Above all, have hope.  Hope is never lost...not while we're still here.

Love...

Kayleigh

Pray Peace

Prayer has never been my strong point, believe it or not.  I love the concept, I have always found prayer to be beautiful, but I've never managed to find a prayer practice that resonates with me.  Then I read Gregg Braden's Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer and I began to think about prayer differently.  He describes an ancient form of prayer that uses no words or outward expressions but, rather, is based in the silent language of human emotion.  By feeling gratitude and appreciation, as if our prayers have already been answered, we gain direct access to God.  Gregg describes a field of energy that has been discovered--referred to by many different names such as the Unity Field, the Quantum Hologram, Nature's Mind, and the Mind of God--that is different from any other form of energy, appears to be everywhere at all times and to have existed since the beginning of time.  The cool part is that this field responds to human emotion, just as the ancients have suggested!  So, since the Universe responds to our thoughts, feelings, and the images we hold in our minds, it makes sense that praying for something wouldn't work as well as affirming that we already have it.  This is what mystics have been teaching us for hundreds, even thousands, of years.

I'm sure you have heard the phrase "Ask, believe, receive."  Since the film The Secret was released it has gained quite a bit of popularity, but it's certainly been around long before.  Even the Bible affirms this truth.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ~ Mark 11:24, ESV

Belief is the key.  Asking is not necessarily the power in prayer; it is simply the desire which inspires our prayers.  We don't need to affirm that desire through prayer because God is already aware of that desire as we are feeling it in our hearts, thinking it in our minds, and sending out those vibrations to the Universe.  Instead, belief is the power behind prayer.  Thanking the Divine for blessing you, feeling joy and gratitude and believing that you've already received what you're asking for, and being receptive to its manifestation--that's what I call an effective prayer.  Now, imagine what the world would be like if we used the tool of affirmative prayer daily to express gratitude and joy for already having arrived at World Peace.  Surely, if enough of us took the time every day to pray in such a way, we would witness a shift in our global community.  That is precisely what I am suggesting to all of you.

Without bias or judgment, is it possible that what we see as an unsettled world of chaos is simply the Field mirroring our belief that peace is missing--our 'please let there be peace' echoed back to us as chaos? ~ Gregg Braden

Lately, I have taken to praying every night before I fall asleep--actually as I am falling asleep.  I climb into bed, get comfortable, close my eyes, connect with Spirit, and pray for peace.  Only I don't pray in a conventional way.  Instead, I practice the affirmative form of prayer I've been talking about; I feel joy and gratitude for living in a peaceful world.  I visualize what I think a peaceful world might look like, and I maintain this visualization until I fall asleep.  What's amazing is that my first conscious thought in the morning ends up being something like this: "Yay!  Another day in a beautiful, peaceful world!"  I smile, I start my day with joy, I dance, and I feel deep appreciation for another miraculous day.  But of course it doesn't stop there.  Throughout my day, whenever I am reminded (whether by something beautiful or the challenge of resistance), I affirm peace.  I see peace, I experience peace, and I thank God for peace.

I invite you to join me.  In fact, I would be honored if you would join me.  And I honestly think you'll love it.  I know I do!  I have been falling asleep with a smile on my face and waking up with unbounded energy and motivation.  Besides...it's fun!  It's enjoyable visualizing what World Peace WILL look like!  Every time it's a different adventure, creating peace and playing with how it could potentially show up in our world. 

Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about, here are a couple things I like to visualize:

A total hippie-fest celebration!  Bare feet, flowing skirts, laughter, joyous tears, hugs, kisses, and plenty of music and dancing!  There is every instrument from guitars to mandolins, didgeridoos to djembes, flutes to harps to cowbells to tambourines.  (But of course The Love Drums are present as the biggest Whizbang is all history breaks loose!)  People are doing cartwheels, handstands, tribal dancing, fairy frolicking, spinning in circles with their arms thrown wide.  Some are laying in the grass staring up at the blue sky, others are singing, and plenty more leaping and shouting for joy!  Children are playing, dogs and puppies are playing, and grown adults are playing.  It's one big beautiful high-vibrational Love Fest.  There is nowhere to be, no agenda, no worries; there is only the Now and complete freedom to create What Is To Come. 

Or...

A more specific, "Big Picture" vision: The hungry are fed, the homeless are taken in and cared for, the children are nurtured and loved, animals are treated with respect and compassion, and all fighting has stopped to make way for healing and beauty.  Israelis and Palestinians and Americans and Mexicans and Sudanese, Hindus and Muslims and Christians and Buddhists and Jews...everyone everywhere are all shaking hands, holding hands, hugging, smiling, sharing, and giving to one another.  Not a corner of the Earth isn't saturated in love as it has become contagious.  Abundance and charity are the typical experiences of our daily lives.  The news networks have nothing to report but miraculous stories of the peace that consumes the entire world in bliss.  And this is normal...accepted...a day in the life of earthlings.

What do you think?  Do you want to play?  You see, even if my view of World Peace is drastically different from yours, it is the feeling that is important.  This visions bring about profound bliss for me.  So if they don't for you, come up with your own visualizations.  May they invoke feelings of love, joy, and peace within you!  If we affirm and experience these feelings with our entire beings every day, our world with begin to align with us and a way to peace will emerge. 

The Universe will correspond to the nature of your song. ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith

So what if the peace we create doesn't end up looking exactly like our visions?  Well...shoot for the moon anyway!  As they say, even if you miss you'll land among the stars!  Only good can come from such vibrant visions.  They cultivate love and joy, whereas the visions most of us hold of the world are keeping us stuck where we are.  Our current worldviews are cultivating fear, pain, and separation.  So while we may not be able to see a distinct solution at the moment--while we may not be able to perceive a way to relate to each other--a way will be found if we change our feelings and beliefs about the possibilities of our future on this planet.  The feelings of love and joy that are cultivated by visualizing peace, as well as the belief that peace is possible, will open the doors of our perception and move our energy in such a way that miracles will happen as naturally as the sun brings light to our days.

So please join me in this daily prayer practice!  It's fun, it's easy, and at the very least it will bring a smile to your face.  You see...

We have already seen what happens when millions of people pray for peace to come to our world.  What would happen if millions of people felt the feelings of gratitude and appreciation for the peace that's already here?  It's certainly worth a try! ~ Gregg Braden

LOVE YOU!

Kayleigh

Peace In Passing

One year ago today, on April 29th of 2009, my grandpa died after a full life of 84 years.  He passed on while surrounded by his family, and a week later dozens of his loved ones watched as an urn filled with his ashes was placed in the ground.  We dropped roses in his grave and listened to taps being played as we watched the Island Airways fly overhead in the missing man formation in Phil Gregg's honor.  We said goodbye, and life without him began.

Or so we thought.  It is easy for me to see that my grandfather is still very much alive in the hearts of those who loved and admired him.  I realize this sounds at worst cliche, and at best the comforting notion of a grieving loved one, but I mean it quite deeply.  The journey of one year has brought me to a knowing that I can share with you in utter confidence and sincerity: Nobody ever truly leaves us.

I may not have known my grandpa as well as my other relations did, but Phil Gregg was not the sort of person you needed to be close to in order to love, appreciate, and ultimately miss.  I wanted to get closer to him, as I wanted to get closer to a lot of my extended family members, but every time we parted I told myself, "Next time...there will be a next time, and next time I'll make the most of it."  Unfortunately, there was no "next time" for me.  I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't share a last moment with him, I didn't have the opportunity to give him a final kiss or hug.  The day my mom and I got in the car and traveled up north to be with him and the rest of the family, he made his transition from this world to the next.  I remember breaking down over a Mexican dinner with my mom halfway to Michigan and having no clue what was next for me in my life.  I had been making plans to go to college and pursue my dreams, but college didn't seem important anymore, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to pursue the same path I had decided upon.  All I knew was mortality had slapped me in the face.  "I will one day die, my mother across from me will one day die, everyone I love and admire will one day die..."  And in that moment I knew with every certainty, "Life is precious...all I have is now."

There is one thing that stood out to me about my grandpa upon his passing: he enjoyed his life.  As my dad said of him in his eulogy during the memorial service, "Dad was such a colorful character who crammed about as much life into 84 years as anyone could expect."  What's more is he was a real and true good person.  Not many people achieve the level of respect and admiration Phil Gregg did through his kindness, joyful spirit, honesty, and humble heart.  Too many of us grind through life, forgetting to enjoy the time we have, and too many people absorb themselves in an "every man for himself" mentality.  This rat race leaves us feeling drained while very little is contributed to society.  As a result, kindness and goodwill seem to be hard to come by.  But my grandpa managed to make the most of the time he was given.  It was obvious to me how many lives he had touched when, at the end of his memorial service, we all stood up, turned to walk out of the church, and there were so many people that all the seats were filled and people were even standing against the walls.  What's more is, as we walked out, there were people standing in the entrance hall...and leaving the church, there were people standing outside.  The church was overflowing with people who were there to honor his memory.  I prayed at that moment that I would touch at least half the lives my grandpa had managed to touch.

I left Michigan without a plan but, rather, a dedication to explore and enjoy life for a while.  I wanted to embrace the sense of adventure that was creeping up within me.  I knew that after getting to know myself better, nurturing my inner growth, and exploring the possibilities before me, I would be more confident in whatever path I ended up taking.  I wanted to form a more solid idea of what it was I wanted to pursue, as all I was really sure of at the time was a desire to contribute something truly meaningful to our planet and our global community.  So I left my job to find one that better suited me and enjoyed the rest of the summer outside in the sunshine. 

But, come wintertime, I got sucked right back into my old routine.  I worked, I hardly made time for fun (I mostly slept in my spare time), and I put all my writing and all my dreams on the back burner.  I fell into a pretty deep depression that I shared with very few people, and I became lost.  I questioned and doubted everything, large and small, about my life and what I had come to understand about the world.  I became angry and confused.  All I wanted was an escape.

 Then, about six weeks ago, a friend of mine passed on.  I wasn't very close to John but, like my grandfather, that wasn't necessary in order to be touched by his presence on this planet.  I honestly took advantage of that presence.  He was someone I imagined I would get closer to down the road.  I always thought at some point we'd get to know each other better.  His death came as a tremendous shock, as it did for everyone.  A loud and resounding wake-up call reverberated in my head, my heart, my very being.  I went into a panic.  I began thinking of all the things John never got to do...the things he wanted to do and experience, the goals he was working toward and the dreams he had incubating.  What's more is, I thought about what an amazing person he was, how many lives he had touched, and how many lives he could have touched.  I felt that I was robbed and that the world was robbed by his absence (Obviously, I was going through the anger stage of grieving).  But it soon passed.  I eventually found my peace with his death.  I thank John for all he gave us while he was here: a wealth of love, joy, and truth.  I thank him for illustrating to me how precious life is, for waking me up to the "auto-pilot" lifestyle I had been leading, and for reminding me of how much I want to do with my life, how many dreams I have incubating.  And I thank him for reawakening me to the passion for life within myself.  I, drone-like, had been working toward tomorrow, counting on tomorrow, but inevitably getting nowhere and throwing my days away.  While I do know there's no such thing as wasting time, I certainly wasn't cherishing the present and appreciating all it held for me.  At his memorial service, I felt John's presence very strongly.  I was surrounded by an intense joy, a lust for life and adventure, and love for everyone around me.  I left the funeral home feeling changed; something clearly had shifted.  I knew a part of him lived on within me and within his loved ones.  I realized that I was not robbed...his life was a gift to me, and witnessing all who loved him and all who were changed by him was a gift to me. 

Phil Gregg left behind a legacy, as did John Price, and it would be a shame to let those legacies die along with the great men who birthed them.  Grief is natural--even beautiful--but there comes a time when gratitude for the time you had with that person and what they gave to you is far more important than holding on to pain at their passing.  Pain is part of a cycle and should never act as a trap.  Pain gives way to the birth of something more beautiful, and I believe that the death of a loved one can act as the catalyst to a birth within oneself.  It certainly did with me.  After watching two men (very similar in their appreciation of life and goodhearted natures) pass within the same year, it has become very clear to me that life is about much more than surviving.  Working just to make money to pay bills and save for retirement does not equal LIVING.  Thanking God every morning you open your eyes, cherishing every moment, finding the beauty in all you see, shining light and love on your neighbors, bringing life to your dreams, and becoming the best example of a human being you can possibly be...THAT is truly living.

I believe my grandpa and John both would want us to celebrate the memory of their magnificent lives rather than grieve the loss of them and carry pain with us on into our futures.  And what better way to celebrate their lives than to enjoy the time we have left in this beautiful life God has blessed us with?  My grandpa lived a full life, gifting all around him with his goodhearted and joyful nature, and is now free.  He is at home and at peace with his Father...and we're still here.  John may have died young, but he blessed so many of us simply by being his wonderful self and shining his light.  He is now on to the next adventure...and we're still here.  We are alive, the world is receptive, and we have much to do.  For my part, I will take the gifts these great men gave me, carry them within my heart, and share the wealth with all I meet from this day forward.  To quote a lyric of a favorite song from a favorite musical, "You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart."  Grandpa Phil and John are with me in more than memory now...they are with me as a part of me, as a part of who I am and who I will become as I allow their lessons and their beauty to transform me into the best example of a human being I can possibly be.  My writer's block is gone, I'm looking toward college again, and I feel a passionate fire burning in my heart once again.  My dreams are stirring within me again, and it's time to move forward with my life and make what I can of it.

I know someday my time will come, as it will for you, but there's no sense in thinking of that day now.  I am here now, and the world is waiting for me.  And when death does arrive at my doorstep?  Well...in the spirit of Peter Pan I say, "To die will be an awfully big adventure."

With Love,

Kayleigh

Also...

I first saw this video while in Michigan for the week surrounding my grandpa's funeral.  I heard the song on John's playlist as it was played before his memorial service.  It seemed fitting to share it.

Give Peace A Chance

The word “peace” is thrown around quite a bit these days.  It seems you can’t go anywhere without seeing it on a t-shirt, bumper sticker, or shopping bag.  We want peace of mind, seek inner peace, and long to be at peace with ourselves.  Parents are practicing peaceful and positive methods of discipline.  There is a campaign for a cabinet level United States Department of Peace.  And more than ever we speak of someday achieving world peace.  Why are we so obsessed with peace?  The answer is clear enough: we need it.

There’s no denying that our world is in a chaotic state.  Fear is fueling our actions which in turn are fueling more fear.  There's war, poverty, terrorism, genocide, violence, hate, and so much anger that it's any wonder we haven't all lost our minds.  But then, maybe we already have.  Isn't our world's current state proof enough of our insanity?  What else is the result of lunacy if not war after war after war, a society infected by greed, and children dying every day from something as simple as hunger?  It's about time we admit our faults and take responsibility for our world.  It's time we try something different.  For all of human history, not once have we ever truly given peace a chance, and peace is clearly the answer we're looking for.  How long are we going to continue to subscribe to the belief that the world is a dangerous place?  It doesn’t have to be.  Our past choices have created our current experience of the world, and our current choices are creating our world’s future.  We must simply choose differently, and we make that choice now.  World peace might sound like a tall order, but we can get there.  First things first: we must take peace seriously.

Peace is powerful.  It is the next step in our evolutionary journey as a species.  The world is ready and waiting for us to make this shift.  Studies have proven that prayer and meditation—when focused on peace—make an impact on our world.  Why?  It’s simple: everything is energy.  This is something you no doubt learned in your elementary school science class, and it is a fact that is at the core of this matter.  Our thoughts are measurable and have a palpable impact on our day to day lives.  The energy we emit when we feel depressed, joyful, angry, jealous, worried, loving, compassionate plays a part in shaping our lives and the world we live in.  Making a constructive change in our lives is as simple as replacing negative thoughts with positive ones…calming our minds and our bodies and finding the wisdom within to approach the situations in our lives from a place of love and peace.  This is the only way we can set ourselves on a path toward peace: by being peaceful in our own lives.

Our minds are impressive tools and are capable of so much more than what we are currently utilizing them for.  As a species, we seem to have settled for the minimum possible employment of our brains, limiting our existence to one of difficulty, mediocrity, and lack.  Too many of us accept “scraping by” as a common experience and never aim for anything higher.  I think this is because not many people make the connection between the mind and their life experience.  Instead, we play the victim of circumstance, submitting ourselves to life’s hardships.  There is a variety of beliefs that contribute to this, including ones that suggest life is difficult, that you must work hard and strain for anything good to come out of life.  We also commonly speak about how cruel the world is…that it’s a dangerous place with threatening, untrustworthy people.  Thus, we subject ourselves to the tortures we’ve created and rarely (or never) stimulate our mind and our being in ways that would lift us to a higher level of consciousness, one that would enable us to create a world that reflected life’s abundance and beauty, freeing us from the lack and fear our past choices have created.  In this way, peace is a product of a higher level of consciousness.  When we challenge ourselves to think differently, to look at the world through fresh eyes, and to focus our energy in a positive way, we take the first steps toward a future founded in peace.

However, at the same time, peace is the path we must take to get to that destination.  Peace is about creating, it is an active choice.  It is not only the product of a world without fear and hate; it is the way to a world without fear and hate.  We must be peaceful in order to have a peaceful world.  The world won't change on its own.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi

Gandhi understood well that you can't wait for the world to change; you must take it upon yourself to activate that change.  We all are a part of this world, so who or what else is going to change it if not us?  One person may not be able to change the entire world on their own, but if we each step up to the plate and do what we can, we will facilitate a global shift from chaos to peace.  A collective is made up of individuals, so we as a collective can and will put in motion a revolution of peace once we make the choice as individuals. 

I sincerely believe it is not only possible to achieve world peace, it is necessary.  Our world is falling apart.  Either we submit to apathy and despair to crumble with it, or we accept responsibility for the task at hand and take our first step forward on an evolutionary journey toward a new world.  All it takes is enough people making that simple choice; love over fear, peace over hate, and hope over despair.  We're still here…we still have a chance to make this world a better place.  Our moment is now.  It’s about time we let go of fear and its destructive qualities and built a new world from peace and its creative qualities.

All we are saying is give peace a chance. ~ John Lennon

Love,

Kayleigh